Friday, October 01, 2004

My attempts to quit smoking failed.

I guess it's back to the drawing board on that one.

Away from such banality, things are pretty much the same as they were during my last post. For those of you on the inside of my little end of the world, you know what that means and how I am feeling right now.

I'm sorry if I have been a dick to anyone or are being a bit distant. Just understand that I am very tired and have a lot going on. You all know that I get this way sometimes, so please just hang with me on this. It'll be over and relatively painless soon. Just stick with me.

Without being too specific, things aren't really as normal or status quo in my world as they should be. I'm dealing with a lot of personal choices and issues, and anyone who has been on the real inside shit of it understands. exactly where I am coming from.

I don't the next time I am going to post. I will talk to you all later.
-Take Care,

Prometheus at 1:31 AM

Monday, September 20, 2004

Big shock, eh?

Prometheus at 6:53 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Nictoine Withdrawl Pt. 3:
Half a pack today...;not bad. I'm down from roughly two packs (last week) to half a pack a day. Never ever doubt the power of focused Will. The withdrawls are hurting as bad, either. I can go several hours before I notice anything.....it's just the hand-habit and my own small oral fixation (which bothers me since no one female seems to appreciate it.)

In other news, I am considering changing my hairstyle. I've had the same "do" since I was 15.....I need a fucking change.

Tonight's entry is fucking lame, folks. I'm sorry, but my life isn't that much better. I swear, I'll post something cool in the next few days.

Prometheus at 10:48 PM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Nicotine Withdrawl, pt.2:
Cigarettes taste terrible. I've had my first for the day....and that's the only one since 11:30 last night. The cravings aren't so bad, really, they are just a bit unpleasant. So I broke and bought a pack , just so I would have them for when I start getting a little too edgy.
But as I was saying, they taste like shit. I don't rightly know why I started to smoke in the first place. I feel like shit, too.....all dizzy and what-forth. I shouldn't have smoked it, but I needed to. The headaches and irritability were getting to be a bit much.
But now that I am out of withdrawl for a little while, I think I'll be okay. I'll probably smoke another one later on, but in the interim, I am not to worried. I hope I haven't snapped off at anyone recently and not realized it. With any luck, I'll be totally finished with this nasty little addiction by the end of next week.
Hell, truth be told, if I could just cut down to a few a day, basically smoking a pack a week, I'd be happy. But we'll see......Gods know I tend to change my tune with the blowing wind.

Prometheus at 11:46 AM

Prometheus at 10:49 AM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Nicotine withdrawl- Part 1.
I decided that I need to start saving money, and smoking costs me approx. $100 a month. Granted, I don't know what the fuck I am thinking. I need to start making some serious changes...and serious grip. It sucks being broke like me, but worse is being frustrated, worried, and no totally able to see past the whole "I'm fucked" feeling.
So now I am in a state of nicotine withdrawl. It's not so bad, but everything feels like nails on a chalk-board. My head hurts.....I'm getting the chills, every inch of me is screaming for chemical input.
But I am a cruel bastard, and I am not giving in until I feel nothing else. I'm not having another smoke tonight (I've had three since six a.m.) until I am at my absolute breaking point....and maybe even then, I won't. Chances are, given how spiteful I am feeling right now, I'll be in pure smoke denial tonight.
What does that say about you, when you are so fed up with life, you begin punishing yourself?


Prometheus at 2:59 PM

Monday, August 30, 2004

I'd really like to know how it is that I am not paying of for anything other than my normal expenses (rent, gas, insurance, and smokes) and somehow I am spending more money than I ever have. This is becoming a massive pain in my ass and I have nothing I can seemingly do about it. I'm so sick and fucking tired of being broke, having migraines, being looked at by mutant mall-walking fuckheads and hearing racial slurs, never being able to develop a healthy sleep cycle, being hungry all time, listening to everybody complain about my refusal to vote either democrat or republican, having a generalized sense of malaise, never knowing what the fuck is going to happen next, and simply dealing with everyday shit.

Not to mention, I haven't had a cigarette since one o'clock this morning. It's going to be a long fucking day.


Prometheus at 12:53 PM

Thursday, August 26, 2004

It's been quiet. Too quiet, actually. I hate those periods of time when things are sitting still, almost as if life is waiting for something to happen, or for me to catch up to it all.
Fuck, maybe I'm crazy, but do you ever get the feeling that things are just about to occur, but haven't yet? I get that feeling all too often these days, and I just wonder what is going to occur next.
Never a dull moment, the old saying goes.
I guess that it's the aforementioned that keeps me from blogging. I sometimes feel like I need to save my energy or breath, but for some reason, tonight was/is the night. Hell, it's keeping me out of trouble. Do you ever feel like sometimes you just intentionally need to stir up shit? Call an exgirlfriend that you are on bad terms with, or get into an argument with a loved one? Flirt with someone you can't stand? Get drunk and stumble around a public location? These sorts of asinine behaviors have sounded really enjoyable recently. Maybe I'm a dick (and many would agree with that) but those sorts of things just sound utterly fantastic. Kinda like ego-worship, but worshipping it as Shiva The Destroyer or Loki.


Prometheus at 10:32 PM